In Memory: My Hero, My Angel, My Dad
My father passed away at home on November 28, 2007, and the world as I knew it was changed forever. He was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer in October 2006. He was told he could have surgery to remove the tumor but suffered a minor heart attack shortly after diagnosis. In December 2006 he was scheduled to have surgery and unfortunately while in surgery was told that it had spread to the liver. My father was home that Christmas but it was bittersweet, we didn’t know that it would be our last Christmas with him. My father started chemotherapy in 2007. He tried the only two treatments approved for Esophageal Cancer. Neither of them worked and he was told there was nothing else that could be done. That day was one of the hardest for me and only one of many to follow. My father, superman, the one who had so much strength and had overcome so much in his life, was terminally ill and there was nothing in the world that I could do. I felt so unbelievably helpless. I never left my dad’s side…I was with him every step of the way…it was one of the hardest journeys I have ever had to face…but I did it…I was with him to the end.
A year has passed and I still struggle through each day. I feel such a big part of me is missing. My father was everything to me. He was always there to give me advice but he still let me make my own choices. He was there no matter what; to bail me out, or to tell me he was proud of me. I know that I am so blessed to have had a father like him in my life for some never have that at all.
My father will continue to live brightly in my heart, in my thoughts, and in the stories I share with others. May you rest in peace, Daddy!
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michelle of bleeding espresso
December 7, 2008 at 4:53 pmBeautiful, LuLu; I’m sure your dad would’ve had tears in his eyes like the rest of us do…and I *love* Footprints in the Sand. I’ll never forget the moment when I first “got” it–my grandmother had a plaque with it on a wall in her bedroom 🙂
Rosa
November 29, 2008 at 5:40 pmHi Lulu,
I read your story with tears.
I lost my brother 5 days before xmas 10 years ago this year. Both my brothers were in a car accident and we’re lucky that one of them came home. We almost lost my mother in February 2006 to a brain tumour and she had suffered a stroke after the surgery. I had completely lost faith and I couldn’t understand why my family kept getting smaller. But thankfully, things turned around for my mom. She is still alive even though she’ll never be the same. One thing that I have learned over the years is that it really helps to talk about your loved one. The funnier the story, the more laughter there is through the tears. You will always miss a loved one, but it does get easier with time. I try to do things that remind me of my brother. I also count the blessings that I still have and I appreciate the wonderful moments I had with those that passed away.
My thoughts are with you. God bless.
Rosa
I’m so sorry for your loss Rosa. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it is good to be reminded that we are not alone in our sorrow and that there are others who can relate to something so difficult to understand and accept. I send my thoughts to you and your family, may you always remember those you have lost with fond memories and smiles! 🙂 *hugs*
susan
November 28, 2008 at 11:21 pmLulu- I feel your grief- I too lost my Dad -Dec 31,2005. My father was the hero to me that you describe in your Dad.
We are among the luckiest few to have had such wonderful Fathers. Who shaped us and guided us. They are always with us. They always watch over us.
Be strong – be proud. Rejoice in who he helped you to be. I do. It really helps.
Abbracci….
Thank you Susan! You are very right, we are very fortunate to have had the relationships with our fathers that we did. It is why we miss them so very much!
Assentia
November 28, 2008 at 2:07 pmAs someone who has gone without her father for 19 years, I understand completely. For me, the pain has been very vivid for most of this time, receding only after I had my own child. Grieving is no shame. Treasure your memories.
Thank you. I try my best to always remember my dad – the things he said, the things he did. He was such a strong character and to lose that is at times unbearable and impossible to accept. I never deny myself any emotion…it is who I am.
carla
November 28, 2008 at 12:05 pmLulu, I know this must be so difficult for you and please know you’re in my thoughts today. I most certaintly believe that your dad is watching you proudly. God Bless…
Thank you, Carla!