Calabrisella Mia

2022 is coming to an end. I really try my best not to dwell on the negative, but honestly, this year was hard. And that’s saying a lot after two years of living through a global pandemic.

In 2021, we all began picking up the pieces and trying to find our footing in this post-pandemic world. And although it was difficult to navigate, it proved to be a real learning experience. It was a chance to let go of anything that no longer served us and focus on what we wanted for the next chapter of our lives.

I wanted 2022 to be a year of embraces: embracing life, people, and new experiences.  And in the beginning, it really felt like that was the path this year would take.

It felt like things were finally shifting and heading in the direction that I had been dreaming about, and hoping for these past few years.

I was so certain things would go differently this year. Instead, 2022 came in like a warm inviting hug only to be followed by a low blow to the stomach. I found myself on an emotional roller-coaster that took me on a ride that I neither expected nor wanted.

As I reflect on this past year, the one theme that comes to mind is “promise”. Yes, 2022 was a year of promise.

Promise is an interesting notion. It’s a trust, a hope, something that is, for the most part, completely out of our control. And that is what gives it so much power. It has the power to be amazing while at the same time having the ability to crush you when that promise is broken.

With promise comes the risk of disappointment, and unfortunately for me, I had a pretty fair share of that this year.

If you’ve been reading my blog over the years, or you know me in person, you would know that I’m always hopeful, maybe too hopeful for my own good.

I am always open to new experiences, especially those that have that certain air of promise that they will bring me closer to my goals, and to my dreams.

So why exactly have I entitled this year “the year of promise”?

Well, because I found myself in situations that demonstrated a lot of promise. Whether it was people, career paths, or new opportunities – there was hope…there was a promise, that things would turn around.

But as the year progressed, things started to “fall apart”.

People Change.

Certain bonds with people were broken – I was once again revisited with feeling unwanted and unloved. And this time, it really broke me. I closed myself off and isolated myself. I couldn’t deal with that terrible feeling of abandonment or indifference from people that I thought genuinely wanted me in their lives.

It took me some time to shift my views, to look inward, and to realize that loving myself was the single most important thing. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to?

So, with this fresh outlook, I focused on finding myself again and doing what makes me happy. And I can honestly say, as this year draws to a close, it brings with it a new promise, a promise of new friendships that I can only see strengthening in the New Year.

No Exit Turn Back.

As Spring started to bloom so did a new opportunity to pursue a new career path. This new path promised to provide me with more of the things I loved while at the same time giving me the freedom to balance work and life in a way that I hadn’t been able to do effectively since I moved here.

I was ready to make the sacrifices, and I was prepared to take on the challenge. And it wasn’t easy, but I managed.  Well, almost. It wasn’t what I had hoped for. The promise of what it could be was there, and it seemed possible, but it didn’t quite turn out that way.

And so, I had to turn back. But you know what, turning back doesn’t always have to be a bad thing. And it took me a while to accept that this wasn’t a failure, it was a sort of rediscovery. It gave me the chance to turn my attention back to my creative side, the side of me that makes me feel most alive and most fulfilled.

If you do what you love, it will always keep you on the right path. Does that mean there won’t be other dead ends? Absolutely not, but dead ends are not the end of the line and I promise you, those dead ends will bring you back to your path, to what’s most important.

So, now, with the New Year on the horizon, I’m turning my attention forward.

I want 2023 to be a year of discovery….

I want to venture outside of my comfort zone and discover (or even rediscover) parts of myself.

I want to meet exciting people who will bring out the best in me and help me discover something new.

I want to discover all the beautiful and precious things life has to offer me.

The story continues amici…

If you want to find out what I’m up to, you can keep up with my daily life and musings on the Calabrisella Mia Facebook Page and Instagram!